How to Prepare for a Divorce Mediation in New Jersey

By Lois G. Schwartz | November 20, 2023

How to Prepare for a Divorce Mediation in New Jersey

Divorce can be a challenging and emotional experience. In New Jersey, as elsewhere, many couples are opting for mediation as an alternative to litigation. Mediation offers a more harmonious path to resolution, emphasizing collaboration over contention. Here, we’ll explore how to prepare for a divorce mediation and why many are choosing this route. The insights provided are courtesy of Lois Garber Schwartz, Esquire, of Spear Wilderman law firm.

Benefits of Mediation

Mediation is a popular method of alternative dispute resolution, and it’s easy to see why given its many benefits. Here’s an overview of the advantages mediation offers:

  • Cost-Effective: Mediation is often more affordable than litigation. By resolving disputes more quickly and without the need for a full trial, parties can save significantly on legal fees and other related costs.
  • Time-Saving: Litigation can be a lengthy process, sometimes taking years to reach a conclusion. Mediation, on the other hand, can resolve disputes in a fraction of that time, allowing parties to move on more quickly.
  • Confidentiality: Mediation sessions are private. Unlike court trials, which are public and can become part of the public record, the details discussed in mediation remain confidential.
  • Flexibility: Mediation allows the parties to choose convenient times and settings for their meetings. This flexibility can make the process less disruptive to one’s daily life and work.
  • Control: In court, a judge or jury makes the decisions. With mediation, the parties retain control over the outcome and can craft solutions that best meet their needs and interests.
  • Preservation of Relationships: Mediation is a collaborative rather than adversarial process. This can help maintain or even improve strained relationships, whether they are personal (as in divorces) or business-related.
  • Tailored Solutions: Mediation allows for creative problem-solving. Parties can come up with unique solutions that might not be available through the traditional court system.
  • High Success and Compliance Rates: Agreements reached through mediation have high compliance rates. Since the resolution is mutually agreed upon, parties are more likely to follow through on their commitments.
  • Reduces Hostility: Mediation emphasizes understanding and collaboration, which can decrease the hostility and stress often associated with disputes, especially in sensitive situations like family disputes.
  • Voluntary Process: Since mediation is voluntary, parties can feel more comfortable knowing they’ve chosen this path and can exit the process if they feel it’s not working.
  • Access to Expert Mediators: Mediators often have specialized training in specific areas of dispute, ensuring that the parties benefit from an expert’s insights and experience.
  • Potential for Multiple Issues Resolution: Mediation can address and resolve multiple issues at once, providing a holistic solution to complex disputes.

Steps to Prepare for Mediation

  • Educate Yourself: Understand the mediation process and your rights. Lois Garber Schwartz, Esq. recommends that individuals consult with an attorney, even if briefly, to ensure they are informed about the legal implications of their decisions.
  • Gather All Necessary Documents: This includes financial documents, property deeds, bank statements, retirement accounts, and any prenuptial agreements. Organizing these documents beforehand ensures that the process can move more smoothly.
  • Determine Your Priorities: Before you enter the mediation room, know what is most important to you. Is it the marital home? Custody arrangements? Spousal support? Identifying these beforehand can help you negotiate more effectively.
  • Practice Open Communication: It’s essential to listen and communicate calmly. Consider practicing active listening techniques where you genuinely try to understand your ex-spouse’s perspective.
  • Choose a Neutral Venue: A neutral setting can help both parties feel more at ease. Lois Garber Schwartz, Esq. can provide recommendations on suitable venues.
  • Seek Counseling: If you’re finding the emotional toll challenging, consider seeking counseling or therapy to help process your emotions constructively.

What Happens During Mediation

Here’s a detailed look at what happens during mediation:

  • Introduction by the Mediator: The mediator typically starts the session by introducing themselves, outlining the process, explaining their role as an impartial facilitator (not a decision-maker), and establishing ground rules for the session.
  • Opening Statements: Each party is given the opportunity to share their perspective on the dispute without interruption. This is a chance for everyone to understand the concerns and positions of each side.
  • Setting the Agenda: The mediator, with input from the parties, will list the issues that need to be addressed and often set an order in which they’ll be discussed.
  • Joint Discussion: Parties may discuss issues together in a joint session. The mediator facilitates this discussion, ensuring it remains constructive and on track.
  • Private Caucuses: The mediator might hold separate, confidential sessions (or caucuses) with each party. This allows each side to discuss their concerns privately with the mediator, who can gain a deeper understanding of each party’s position and explore potential solutions.
  • Negotiation: The core of mediation is negotiation. The mediator will facilitate discussions, suggesting potential solutions and compromises. They might shuttle between parties (if in separate rooms) carrying proposals and counter-proposals.
  • Reaching an Agreement: If the parties come to an agreement, the mediator will help them draft a memorandum of understanding or a settlement agreement. This document outlines the terms they’ve agreed upon.
  • Closure: If an agreement is reached, the mediator will review the terms with both parties to ensure understanding and agreement. If no agreement is reached, the mediator may discuss potential next steps, which could include further mediation, arbitration, or litigation.
  • Post-Mediation: Depending on the nature of the mediation, the parties might need to take additional steps after the mediation session. This could include formalizing the agreement with legal representation, carrying out the terms of the agreement, or moving forward with alternative dispute resolution methods or litigation if no agreement was reached.

Throughout the mediation process, the mediator’s primary role is to foster open communication between the parties, ensuring that both sides feel heard and understood. They don’t take sides or make judgments but rather assist the parties in reaching their own resolution.

Contact an Experienced Divorce Lawyer at Lois Garber Schwartz, Esq. for a Free Consultation About Your Case Today

Divorce mediation in New Jersey provides a path that emphasizes collaboration over contention. It not only often results in more satisfactory outcomes but can also be a more compassionate approach for all involved. Preparation, understanding, and a willingness to cooperate are the cornerstones of successful mediation.

If you or a loved one are considering or preparing for divorce mediation, Lois Garber Schwartz, Esq. is here to guide and support you through every step. Trust in their extensive experience and profound commitment to your well-being. Contact Lois Garber Schwartz, Esq. today to set up a consultation and begin your journey toward a more peaceful resolution.

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    Lois Garber Schwartz

    1040 Kings Highway N., Suite 202

    Cherry Hill, NJ 08034


    Phone: 856-375-8989

    Fax: 856-482-0343